"I Need to Tell You What's Wrong (with You)..."

Sep 16, 20205 min read

"I Need to Tell You What's Wrong (with You)..."

Most of us also complain because, in the moment, complaining feels good as we vent our frustrations, anger, and disappointments. But while c

391 views

For the Days When Instead of "Happily Ever After" It's "I Hate Your Stupid Face"

Nikki Loscalzo Ed. M.

Aug 11, 20207 min read

For the Days When Instead of "Happily Ever After" It's "I Hate Your Stupid Face"

When Terry Real (LINK) refers to this experience of “normal marital hatred,” he often quips that in the decades that he has used this phrase

808 views0 comments

The Stories that we Make-Up, Why They Upset Us, and How They Mess Up Our Relationships

Nikki Loscalzo Ed. M.

Jul 11, 20205 min read

The Stories that we Make-Up, Why They Upset Us, and How They Mess Up Our Relationships

When it comes to our intimate relationships all of us are fiction writers. Unfortunately, most of the time we don’t realize that we’re writi

330 views0 comments

When You're Afraid it Might Be Over - But You Don't Want it To Be

Nikki Loscalzo Ed. M.

Jun 23, 20204 min read

When You're Afraid it Might Be Over - But You Don't Want it To Be

When your relationship is falling apart it can seem hopeless, and like nothing you do can fix the problems that have built up between you. B

296 views0 comments

Nikki Loscalzo Ed. M.

May 29, 20202 min read

The Bewildering Pain of Infidelity

Perhaps the emotion which is mostly commonly experienced in the wake of infidelity in a relationship is bewilderment. The hurt partner’s

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"Why Does My Partner Make Me Act Like This ?"

Nikki Loscalzo Ed. M.

May 22, 20203 min read

"Why Does My Partner Make Me Act Like This ?"

At its most basic level, emotional intimacy is the purpose of any close relationship. Emotional intimacy allows you to be vulnerable, to sha

110 views

Nikki Loscalzo Ed. M.

Apr 22, 20205 min read

"I Need a Break. Now."

Within this environment of uncertainty, disruption, and isolation our intimate relationships are vulnerable to frequent disagreements and em

59 views0 comments

Nikki Loscalzo Ed. M.

Mar 31, 20203 min read

"We Need to Talk..."

These deliberate alternatives to the default responses are what Terry Real calls The Five Winning Strategies for getting what you want in

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Nikki Loscalzo Ed. M.

Mar 6, 20203 min read

“I Give Up..”

Perhaps more than any of the other Losing Strategies, withdrawal can take various forms and may arise from a wide array of motivations. Anyt

167 views0 comments

What to Do After a Fight: Five Steps to Increased Intimacy and Connection

Nikki Loscalzo Ed. M.

Feb 28, 20205 min read

What to Do After a Fight: Five Steps to Increased Intimacy and Connection

All relationships continually move through a cycle of harmony, disharmony, and repair. Most of us think that the problem lies in the disharm

557 views0 comments

"I'll Make You Regret What You Did to Me"

Nikki Loscalzo Ed. M.

Feb 27, 20203 min read

"I'll Make You Regret What You Did to Me"

Like the other Losing Strategies, retaliation erodes intimacy and tears us further away from our partners. At the same time, the impulse tha

119 views0 comments

"You Need to Get Just How Effing Pissed I Am at You Right Now!”

Nikki Loscalzo Ed. M.

Feb 11, 20203 min read

"You Need to Get Just How Effing Pissed I Am at You Right Now!”

Of course, on some level, even our most out of control expressions of hurt and anger often remain a perverse expression of our yearning for

215 views0 comments

Nikki Loscalzo Ed. M.

Jan 27, 20203 min read

“If Only You Would...”

the Losing Strategy of “Controlling Your Partner” doesn’t have to look anything like Mother May I Sleep with Danger in order to be destructi

121 views0 comments

“If You Would Just Admit That You’re Wrong Then Everything Would be Fine”

Nikki Loscalzo Ed. M.

Jan 20, 20203 min read

“If You Would Just Admit That You’re Wrong Then Everything Would be Fine”

relationship “Losing Strategy” number one, “Needing to Be Right.” So, why is this strategy a loser even when you are, in fact,

102 views0 comments

“I Don’t Want Someone Else. I Want You - Just Better”

Nikki Loscalzo Ed. M.

Jan 15, 20203 min read

“I Don’t Want Someone Else. I Want You - Just Better”

When we are thrust into what Terry Real calls “the raw experience of our unmet needs” we too often find ourselves acting in ways that are co

570 views0 comments

You Deserve a Cherishing Relationship

The relationship you wish for is possible, but sometimes skills and tools aren’t enough to get you there. Most of us have times in our lives when we need help to rebuild the passion and connection in our relationships.

If this is where you are - reach out. I can help.

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